I Will Love Him to Ruins
by Ariadne Eurydice
Summary: "This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me." - M.H After his final battle with Paul, Ash has a hard time saying goodbye to the boy he wanted to know everything about. Comashipping, oneshot. Fluff


I stood there, wondering what to do, Cynthia had said she'd seen him leaving. I ran after him, down the steps. I wait to catch my breath as Paul walks down the stairs.

The battle had me worn out, I hadn't been able to sleep the night before, I knew there were only two outcomes, I lose and Paul moves on and remains on top, He'll stay better than me. Or I win, and I can finally say I'm better, since he had found out about Brandon, he'd been adamant on showing me just how much better he was.. It was very close, but I won.

Now, Paul was leaving, just like that, no goodbye, nothing. As I watch Paul walk further down the stairs, he never even looks back. I feel something tug at my heart. _I'm going to miss Paul. Of course I am.. I never got a chance to really.. Yes I did.._ Dawn had said it was useless to try to get to him, Zoey had said I deserved better. And Reggie said I should take the chance, he was hoping his brother would change for better. He tells me I won't be the same without him and vice versa. _I believe him. Why_?

Paul starts to get smaller in my sight. His hair glinting in the light of the sunset.

My hands curl into fists, my fingernails digging through my gloves and into my skin. Part of me hopes Paul will turn around and look back at me, possibly with a smile on his face. _But he doesn't know I'm here. At all._

Paul's further away now. Tears start to form in my eyes, but I refuse to let them leave. Paul is almost out of sight. His figure hunching a little now.

No more, I can't take it anymore. I rush down the stairs, towards Paul. Taking two at a time, Pikachu trying to keep pace. I yell his name, wave my arms, Paul must hear me, because he stops, and turns to face me.

I command my legs to go faster. Once I reach Paul, I stop right in front of him, panting slightly.

Paul stands there and we stare at each other for a bit, I'm trying to figure out what to say.. "Infernape's gotten a lot stronger." He said, smirking, turning his head away.

"Yeah, he sure has Paul.." I said, biting my lip. This was the first _real_ compliment he's given me in a while. "are you going?" I ask, I hear the crack in my voice. The pain in my chest from the lack of air grows from something else. _Reggie's right. But so is Dawn._ I turn away.

Paul stops, "I lost Ash, didn't I? So, there's no reason for me to stay. I'm going to go back to Snowpoint City, to request another battle with Brandon." He says, his voice still in the usual monotone, taking a flat when he mentions Brandon.

 _You can stay for me. I'll be your reason. Please please please?_ "Gotcha, good luck Paul." I say, the crack is more evident and Paul looks up in my direction.

"Yeah. Thanks, you too." He says, I'm sure he means about the battle with Tobias, the legendary trainer. The ten minute warning horns from the boat wail, "So, I'll see you." He turns to move and I can feel the tears.

"Wait!" I say, and this is where the crack hits the wall and Paul stops in seconds, turning quickly.

"What is it?" He asks, and I look down at Pikachu, who's ears perk up as he begins sniffing the air. Then, sensing what I wanted, he nodded and began running back up the stairs. I walked a few more down until I was face-to-face with him. "Ash?" He asks, leaning towards me, and I take the chance to grab his hand. "Ash what are you-" I don't answer as I pull him towards the forest.

"I know you have to go.. Believe me I understand but," I looked up at him as I pushed myself up against a tree, something to ground myself. I took a breath that shuddered as I released it.

I looked up at him, a light blush on his cheeks, his eyebrows raised, but not in the way that says he was making a judgment. He was genuinely concerned.

* * *

 _Why do you feel this way Ash? He treats you like crud! All he does is put you down._ Dawn had yelled, I had just told her of the feelings I'd been getting every time he came around.

 _There's no reason to be sad, but you deserve better than him._ Zoey had said, closing the door behind her. I could see Dawn standing there, her hands clasped, she had told Zoey. As if Zoey could take away what I felt. _He's not worth your time or attention._

It was the night before Brandon had appeared, where I had thanked Paul's Torterra for helping Grotle, and Paul had told me off.

That morning I had watched Paul breakdown in front of everyone. _This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy_ _ **.**_ _A little bit_ ruined **.** That was when I realized that Paul wasn't what everyone thought, not even what Reggie had said- not even Brandon knew him. _A beautiful_ _ **disaster.**_

That night, I had followed Paul back into the forest and watched as he punched the same tree over and over until his knuckles were raw and he fell at the base of it, asking Arceus why he couldn't beat Brandon and how I could. _A beautiful disaster,_ I watched as he cried and cried.

Later, at the battle at lake Acuity, he seemed to be okay, I heard Reggie ask about the scabs on Paul's hands, and I heard Paul brush him off.

* * *

I looked at Paul from my place, there was an obvious inner turmoil with him too, _would he reach out? Or would he walk away?_

And then he sighed and turned, "I'll see you later." And then I couldn't take it anymore.

I shot forward and grabbed onto his sleeve, keeping my face down, he stopped as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Ash-" He began, moving his arm. I grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him, his blue eyes flung wide from shock, his body like stone. I pulled away quickly and took a breath.

"I love you." I said before I could torchic out. "Please don't go." I said as I finally looked up at him and locked eyes.

Paul only smiled sadly before he moved closer and closer until our lips were an inch apart and I swear he could hear my heart that was thumping out of my chest. "I have to, who knows how much longer Brandon is staying." He whispered, before he kissed me.

He then grabbed my hand and led me back to the pathway, before he kissed me one last time. "I love you too." And he smiled and turned away and began walking away. The five minute warning horns wailed.

"Hey Paul!" I yelled, "let's battle again real soon okay?" And he stopped walking, and I could see the grin that appeared.

He only waved with his hand.

 _This was the boy I loved._

I stood there for a second, watching him walk down the path into town before I began running after him again.

 _A little bit messy._

I got there just in time as they began boarding the last of the people leaving.

 _A little bit ruined._

I grabbed his hand again and pulled him in for one last kiss.

 _A beautiful disaster._

"I'll wait for you." I said, letting him go. Paul smirked and nodded his head.

 _..._

"I thought you'd say that." I watched him as the boat pulled away.

 _Just like me._


End file.
